Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom

-I make dinner out of a box every now and then
-I sometimes count a PBJ sandwich as a fruit and protien on the "recomended daily diet"
-I use the TV to entertain my kids sometimes just to get something accomplished
-I am not a PTA mom
-I don't volunteer - even though I would like too at some point
-I dress my daughter in her brothers clothes to go outside or to sleep in
-I cant make cookies or cakes from scratch.
-I hate to read the same books over and over even though repetition is best for kids
-My meals for myself sometimes consists of my childs leftovers -I thought being a SAHM would be easy. I was SO wrong
-I envy people who get out and can conversate on a normal level
-My kids eat sugared cereal more than they should but I am ok with that since we dont keep any other sugared snacks in the house
-I have an excuse once a week why I cant cook and we need takeout
-I write lists for everything but still suffer from C.R.A.F.T. disease (Cant Remember a Fuc**** Thing)
-I dont always shower everyday cause I am too busy entertaining kids
-I don't feel bad that I enrolled 2 of my kids in a part time day care 3 times a week for 4 hours.
-I hate toothpaste stains in the sink even though everyday I tell the kids to clean up their mess
-I miss not being "in style" when it comes to fashion since I rarely get out of sweats!
-I tell my hubby that I hate that our daughter still climbs into our bed even though I secretly enjoy our cuddle time she is so cute when she sleeps
-I dont save all the artwork my children do - especially bc they go through a pack of construction paper almost in a 2 week time frame!
-I love the dollar store and consignment shops even though my hubby is ashamed of them. He says we have the money why shop there.
-I hate that I go to bed singing in my head "twinkle little star" or "old mc donald"
-I yell more than I like
-I nap when my kids nap even though I have a list of 50 million things I need to get done
-I find the easter bunny annoying
-I hate clowns in fact I am scared to death and wont take my kids to the circus
- I take all the batteries out of toys that make noise .... I cannot stand noisy toys but I will buy the most annoying for my neices / nephews
- I dont change my daughters diaper as often as I should. Usually if its poop or if its so filled with pee it hits the floor. (haha)-If dad is home I pretend not to smell my daughter and go upstairs and "pretend" to be cleaning just so I dont have to change her once he realizes she is poopy
-I use clorox wipes everyday but my hubby thinks I actually scrub the 2 bathrooms everyday. Really its only once a week and he still doesn't know that clorox wipes exist - SHHHH
-when my 6 and 3 yo are thirsty I tell them to get water cause I am to lazy to pour them milk or juice.
-I went to my sons school play on Thursday but purposly left the babies binky in the car so afterwards I had a reason to leave instead of "mingling" with the other parents after the show
-I pay our bills online but use the excuse I have to go to the Post Office to mail bills out just so I can get out of the house for 25 minutes.
- More often my daughter stays in her PJs all day long yet she still has a million outfits hanging in her closet with the tags still on them
-I hit Dunkin Donuts 1x a week and dont tell my hubby cause we are suppose to be "watching what we eat"
-I generally tell my hubby I am cleaning or in bed when he calls from work at night but generally I am on the internet
-I have scheduled all my major cleaning for certain days yet have mastered the art of a quick "speed cleaning" before he comes home - the house looks spotless and he thinks I spend hours cleaning
-I recruit my children to do some of the household duties cause they think its a game. They dont know that the carpet swiffer is not a cool hockey stick (they push there balls around the floor with it) but a really helpful "quick" picker upper
- My sons binkie hits the floor I pop it into my mouth to "clean" it then give it back to him.
-I hate action figures
-But I hate barbies even more
-My daughter mimics everything I do, So she puts her baby dolls in time out now .. A lot...
-I threw out all the sippy cups in the house cause Im tired of finding week old milk cups under the couch or under the bed.
-I put my sons diapers on backwards so he stops taking them off
-Not a huge fan of Santa. Chump in a red suit shouldnt get all the credit for the money I spend
-If I scrub the floor its almost certain that within minutes something sticky will spill on it.
-I dont take my kids to get professional pictures made as often as I should. Nor do I buy school pictures.
-Previously wet toilet paper that is now stuck on the floor or wall is not fun to clean
- Neither is vomit.